Dear Family, Friends, and other Lost Sheep of the human race left behind:
If you're reading this, then I've left you behind to fend for yourselves. I'm sorry I failed you. I'm sorry I didn't do more to spread God's word to you, or to demonstrate the truth of it by example in the way I lived my life. But I've always been weak, and a sinner. I'm the first to admit I was never perfect. My quick temper, my greedy collecting of material things during my life, my laziness. Oh sure, there were times when I tried to live more by Jesus example, but most often it ended in failure because of my own arrogance, pride, or stupidity. I've failed so many times. I've only managed to survive this long because I prayed to Jesus and to God to help me find the strength and wisdom to become a better person. I know I never did anything to deserve their love, but somehow through faith it found me. As you read this letter, I hope I can give you the encouragement to find it too, so that you too might be saved.
The first step is believing. But nothing I can say or do can force you to believe in God or Jesus. Like so many things in life, it's just one of those truths that has to reveal itself to you over time, if you are open to it. It's a common saying that people can't accept the truth when it's dictated to them, and that the only thing that makes the truth palatable is the thrill of self-discovery. So don't look to prophets, preachers, miracles or rituals for proof. Don't spend so much effort looking for scientific or physical proof, but rather look to your own human experience, and deep within your own soul. Somewhere inside you, deep within, you eventually will come to know with all certainty the truth behind the teachings in the Bible. The truth of the word of God is self evident. Love is the only way. Eventually you will know this to be true, because the brief time you have spent on earth has revealed to you the sheer destructiveness of greed, anger and hatred. How could the human race live in such a way forever? Somewhere along the way God had to intervene. In the Bible you will find truth if you have perseverance to study it.
The second step is humbly seeking help to change your life. In prayer, ask God and Jesus to help you find the strength to live the life the way they want you to. But don't assume that they are obligated to help you. You must honestly feel that you are not worthy. You must be humble, and realize that you are a sinner and you often fail to live up to their ideals. Despite all this, have faith in them. Ask them for help in understanding the teachings in the Bible. Ask them for help in learning from the real life lessons that will confront you every day for the remainder of your life. And ask them to help you to be gentle and tolerant in the way you accept the suffering that you will have to endure throughout the remainder of your life, and not to reflect that suffering back onto others. Pray for them to forgive those people that do spread the suffering to others and to you. Pray for them to heal those people that you personally have hurt during your life as well. Please try to put others needs ahead of your own.
If you have followed the above steps, you will have come a long way toward understanding love. I apologize if I have offended you for the tone of my letter being instructional in a bossy sort of way. I don't pretend to have all the answers, because even where I am now I am learning every day. If you have found your way to my letter, then you must be somewhat open minded to have come this far. If you can go a little farther then perhaps we will meet again. I love you. I miss you and pray for you every day. If there is any task I can endure to help you in your journey, then I ask Him to let me be there for you. Although my own heart and soul are weak, through His love you can be saved.