I was born and raised as a Mormon. My father left when I was 5 years old. My mother was left with 6 children, ages ranging from 10 to 3 years old. She had to go back to school in order to feed us all. My father married someone else in the Temple and was still married to two other wives in the temple at the same time. I followed the rules of the church like I was wearing blinders.

When I was 6 years old, a school mate invited me to a summer vacation school at her church. It turned out that it was a Christian church. They told stories of Jesus and how he loves us. I remember asking the teachers "why is your Jesus different than the Jesus I have been taught about. We finished the summer vacation without any further discussion. I enjoyed it a lot.

By the time I was 12 years old I had attended every investigator class available in the Mormon church. I kept asking questions. I had two things against me, I was a child and I was born a Mormon. They did not want me stirring up the people in the investigator classes. You see the investigator classes were for new members only. I told the Bishopric that I need to have some answers and if that meant going to the investigator class I was going to do so. You see a female age 12 usually did not stand up like that against the bishopric. I also was the first child to sing in the choir and the first child to attend adult classes. I was paving my way to get closer to Jesus.

The main answers I needed were:

  1. If my mother is still sealed to my dad in the Temple , but my dad is also sealed to other women, who am I sealed to? (My dad told me that my mother lost all of her children by getting the divorce.)
  2. How is it that my christian friends are nicer to me than my Mormon friends? You see, without a father with the priesthood, we were treated like low-life. If a family needed help and they had a father with the priesthood, the ward members were right there helping them. My mother had to pretty well do it on her own. She was extremely dedicated to the Mormon church.
  3. Why is my father married/sealed to 3 or 4 woman at the same time in the Temple ? I thought polygamy was not allowed. It appears to me that polygamy is still being practiced in the Temple .
  4. If the church is true, why are there so many families who are fighting with each other? All I ever saw was families fighting amongst themselves. Family Home Evening did not help.
  5. If the Bible asks that we sing with joy why are the Mormon songs so down? It did not appear that the members were enjoying and praising Jesus. They were just there as robots.
  6. If Joseph Smith was told all other religions were an abomination to God, what will happen to my Christian friends in the afterlife? My Christian friends were nice, friendly, and helpful to me. They showed me more love than my Mormon friends.

So it took several more years until I realized that I was judging the Mormon church on how people treated me. I moved to
Arizona and found Concerned Christians. I read, read, and read more about the doctrine of the Mormon Church. There was another separate world out there that told a different story than what I had been told.

As I was growing up, I never could forget that summer vacation school. My questions became stronger and harder for my family to answer. Finally, the only answers I got from my family was "Go pray about it." Well, that is what I did. I prayed about it. I read more books. I gave a couple of seminars to a group of ladies at a
Baptist Church . I sent a letter to the Bishop asking to have my name removed from the records. Two years went by and I still had not heard anything. When the visiting teachers came to my door, I told them "if you are coming to lecture about the Mormon church, do not come; but if you coming as friends and truly want to know how I am doing, I will welcome you with open arms." Since the visiting teachers only came that one time, I knew my answer.

I found Christ during that two year wait. I finally located who the Bishop was in my area since I had moved to
Arizona . I mailed him a letter asking that my name be removed from the rosters of the Mormon church. I made it even more firm by adding that I did not want anyone visiting me or have me ex-communicated. I also told them that, I was willing to sue the Mormom Church if the action I requested was not done by a certain date. Guess what, I got my wish and I have never felt this relaxed and happy before as a Mormon.

That one seed when I was a young girl stayed with me and helped me to see the differences and gave me the strength to ask questions. I found Jesus. The Jesus that I was taught about at the
Summer Vacation School . Now I know the difference. The facade that the Mormon church puts out to the world is false and misleading. I pray with all my heart that the misguided members of the Mormon Church open their hearts and mind to hear the conflicting propaganda the Mormon Church is feeding them. I pray that they learn about the true Jesus.

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